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(Abner has just woken Arnold up by licking his face, which tickles him.)
Arnold

Abner, stop it! Oh, Abner, you're such a pig!

Arnold (to Abner at night)

Y’know boy, you’re more fun than a hundred dogs put together.

Arnold (on Abner)

Must be getting a drink out of the toilet again.

Grandma (the morning after Abner goes missing)

Anyone for bacon?

Arnold (describing Abner to the dog catcher)

And his tail is so curly when you pull it out it goes 'spoing'!

Gerald (on the missing pig)

Well, did you try going down to the dump and yelling 'sooey'?

Pig Skins R Us crew (yelling at Abner)

Come back here, you football.

Grandpa

'Brilliant' does pretty much describe me. (He falls off chair.)

Gerald (on Arnold's brilliant idea)

Well, it's not working, and it's making me sick.

Ernie (overwhelmed at the end)

It does kinda bring a tear to your eye.

Grandpa

That's just the onions.

Grandpa

In, out. In out. (Abner goes out the door, then back in with mud) OUT! OUT! OUT!