- A grade school diploma. The one thing I've always wanted but never got.
- Couldn't you go back to school?
- Oh-ho, I can't do that, Arnold. I'm too old. I've lost too many brain cells to make it through grade school.
- You're not too old, Grandpa. And you've still got plenty of brain cells.
- No, not since Woodstock.
Principal Wartz (to a tough Grandpa Phil)
- Report to detention after the final bell.
- Report this, Wartz! (pulls the fire alarm and walks off)
Principal Wartz (resets the alarm)
- That's it! I'm calling his parents!
- I'm gonna run for President. Pookie, you can be my campaign manager. What's our slogan?
- Melts in your mouth, not in your hand.
- Pookie, you're fired. Arnold! You can be my campaign manager.
- I want that diploma!
- Let's get it!
- Right after my nap!
- (to Wolfgang) How about you let me kick, young fella?
- (laughing) Aren't you afraid you're gonna fall down and break your hip?
- (angrily) My hip is made of rock hard plastic! Watch this! (kicks the ball hard breaking a window, everyone runs off)
- Awesome kick, old guy! What's your name?
- Come on, Phil. Sit with us at lunch, okay?