Dangerous Lumber is an episode of Hey Arnold!.
Arnold has a lethal baseball bat swing, causing him to unintentionally knock out other players, so he decides never to play the sport again, mere days before a baseball game against the fifth graders.
Arnold is playing with his friends at Gerald Field. Arnold walks up to bat. Harold throws the ball, Arnold hits it, and it slams into Harold's stomach. The kids see if he's alright, and he says "Easy squeezy, lemon peezy". Arnold is batting again. Harold throws it and Arnold hits it. Harold ducks and the ball hits Eugene in the head. Helga tells Arnold if he keeps this up, he'll hit everyone on the field. Harold throws the ball again, and Arnold tries bunting it so it will go up. The kids try to catch it, but bump into each other and fall down. The ball falls on every one of them. Helga tells Arnold he's a freak of nature, and Arnold is worried.
Gerald tells Arnold that he keeps hitting the ball, but Arnold says it keeps hurting someone. Eugene comes and says he'll make a full recovery. He sees a sign, but Arnold tells him it's a stop sign, but Eugene already ends up hurt.
Arnold is up on his roof, watching his friends play ball. Grandpa walks up and asks Arnold why he's not playing. Arnold says he's too dangerous. Grandpa decides to help Arnold. He pitches and Arnold hits the ball. Grandpa ducks, but the ball bounces and hits him in the butt. Arnold suggests he stops, but Grandpa says they should keep trying. Grandpa pitches again with armor on. He pitches and Arnold hits the ball. But the ball bounces and lands through a window, hitting Ernie right in the head. Grandpa decides one more time, insisting that Arnold will miss for sure. Arnold hits it, but it scares Abner. The pig runs, knocking over Grandma. Grandpa figures that Arnold has "Dangerous Lumber". Arnold decides to quit baseball. Ernie tells him he can't. But Arnold says he can't play without hurting someone. Ernie says he can. Ernie takes Arnold to a ball machine court. Arnold hits the ball, but it lands back in the gun. The gun starts shooting crazy and blows up. Arnold says he can't bat anymore, maybe never.
He tells his friends that he can't play baseball anymore. His friends tell him he has to play, but he refuses. Wolfgang shows up and tells the fourth graders that they will lose. Arnold's friends are now upset at him. Arnold goes to the arcade to play baseball, but he ends up destroying the game. Arnold's friends are trying to find a strategy. They're still mad at him, but he wishes them luck.
Arnold passes a T.V. shop. It shows a commercial with Mickey Kaline in it. He tells people that when he retired, he opened a hot dog restaurant called "Mickey Kaline's All Natural Casings Dog Pound", which is across the street from the T.V. store Arnold's at. Arnold decides to check it out. Mickey comes up to Arnold and asks what's wrong. Arnold tells Mickey that every time he hits a ball, it ends up hitting someone. Mickey remembers the story as Dangerous Lumber. Arnold asks Mickey what he should do and Mickey tells him a story. He tells of a guy named Johnny Banks, who's nickname was "Target Practice" because he also had "Dangerous Lumber". In one season, he hit Mickey's elbow, both his knees, his wrist, and a bone in his leg. One day Mickey told Johnny to stop, and Johnny managed to hit the ball and not hurt anyone. Mickey says if you don't face your fears, you could end up a loser. But if you face them, you could end up a success like Mickey. An employee tells Mickey the toilet's backed up again, upsetting him.
Arnold arrives at the game. Arnold decides to bat. He misses the first two shots, but gets the third shot. The ball hits Mickey in the head. A boy asks if he's okay, and he says "Easy Squeezy, Lemon Peezy". Arnold has won the game. Mickey arrives and asks Arnold if he took his advice. Arnold says he did and he won. He tells Mickey what happened while playing catch with Mickey.
|This article is a stub. You can help Hey Arnold Wiki by expanding it.|