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Arnold

We could take the crosstown bus.

Helga

You mean THAT one?
(The bus goes right by them without stopping)

Harold

Well, we could walk.

Helga

WALK? It'll take days! We'll freeze to death! We'll be eaten by pigeons, or worse... eaten by RATS! I hate rats!

(about riding the subway)


Gerald

Sun goes down, stay above ground.

Harold

(panicking) Air...getting thinner! Hard...to...breathe!

Blind Man

Well then stop sucking up all the good air, Fat Boy!

Helga

Nope. No subway for me. Not no way. Not no how. I am not taking the subway.
(next frame)
I can't believe I'm taking the subway.

Gerald

The train stopped

Helga

No kidding, Einstein

Conductor (over loudspeaker)

Ladies and gentlemen, please remain calm. There is no need to worry.

Doctor

But, of course. Ze main zing, uh, i-is to stay calm.

Conductor (over loudspeaker)

Even though thousands of pounds of water are bearing down as we speak on the thin aging walls of this government-funded tunnel, you are in no danger.

Phoebe

Actually, millions of pounds of water bearing down on the tunnel is more correct.

Conductor (over loudspeaker)

Actually, this has never happened to me before!!! (sobs)

Grandma (on the stuck subway car)

I'm the only ex-cop in this city crazy enough to take on a job like this.

Grandpa

Goin' out, Pookie?

Grandma

Don't wait up.

Grandpa

Alright, I'll save ya some supper.

Hobo (Repeated line)

GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!

Hillary (repeating over and over)

Big open spaces.

Conductor (through PA system)

(calmly) Passengers, it may just be a matter of minutes or hours (panicking) OR DAYS OR WEEKS (calmly) 'til the search and rescue team finds our (panicking) FORGOTTEN AND STRANDED SUBWAY CAR... (calmly) and takes out of this (panicking) INCREASINGLY HOPELESS (calmly) situation, so let's all remain calm, there's no need to (panicking) DOOMED!!! WE'RE ALL DOOMED!!! WHY ME?!?!

Helga

(sobbing) WE'RE ALL GONNA STARVE TO DEATH AND GET EATEN BY RATS!

Conductor (over PA)

(calmly) Attention, passengers, I have an update: we're doomed, we're trapped. I'm talking to you from the fetal position. I'm scrunched up small, rocking back and forth, trying to think of there's any way out. I don't think there is. (panicking) I REALLY DON'T THINK THERE IS!!! DO YOU THINK THERE IS, NO!! THANK YOU FOR RIDING THE SUBWAY!!!! HAVE A NICE DAY!!! (sobbing)

Grubby man

Wait a minute! Wait a minute, everybody! I got somethin' to say.

Helga

We know. We know.

Everyone

Get out of your house.

Grubby man

No, no, not that. I got something else to say…

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