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Credits

  • Written by - Steve Viksten
  • Music by - Jim Lang
  • Storyboard Director - Tim Parsons
  • Animation Director - Christine Kolosov
  • Storyboard Artist - Diane Kresendor

Cast

Arnold Spencer Klein
Ernie Dom Irrera
Lola Jennifer Tilly

Scene 1: The Street

(Ernie Potts is hiding in her trash can in front of an apartment building. Arnold is taking a walk while meeting him.)

Arnold
Mr. Potts?
Ernie
Go away.
Arnold
Are you okay?
Ernie
I'm fine. Leave me alone, I'm busy.
Arnold
But you're in a trash can.
Ernie
Shh, act natural.

(Arnold sees a woman coming out of the apartment while waiting for her taxi.)

Arnold
What's going on?!?
Ernie
Nothing, n-now run along home. Scrayascadaddle.

Scene 2: Ernie's Room

(Ernie walks up to the hallway while holding his magazines but bumps into Arnold.)

Arnold
(looking at a magazine) Hey, isn't this the woman I saw today when you were hiding in the trash can?
Ernie
I don't know what you're talking about.
Arnold
Mr. Potts, you forgot your magazine.
Ernie
Can't a guy get a little privacy?!?

(Arnold sees pictures and posters of the woman in Ernie's room.)

Arnold
It is her!
Ernie
Okay, yes, you're right, very good.
Arnold
But why do you have your pictures all over the wall?
Ernie
I ran out of wallpaper, I don't know. OK, OK, her name is Lola and the reason her pictures are up on the wall is because I uh, I kinda have a little crush on her.
Arnold
That's great! When did you meet...
Ernie
Well, I haven't actually met her. (We cut to a flashback of Ernie crushing down buildings while driving the crane) I saw her on the street one day coming home from knocking down highroads. (Ernie in the flashback is surprised.) I stopped like I was shot. (Lola in the flashback walks on the street while reading a book) She was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen in my life, a God of solution fond. (Ernie's foot in the flashback hits the lever and the wrecking ball knocks over the bathroom door where is a worker is in the toilet while reading a newspaper.) I felt for her like a ton bricks, I heard angels sing. (Ernie in the flashback drives his crane while seeing Lola.) I wanted to go up to her and say "Excuse me, miss, you don't know me but the thing is I love you." (We cut back to the present.) Then I thought "Ernie, what are you nuts?!? You can't go up to a perfect stranger and tell her you love her; she'll think you're a lunatic!" Anyway, for the past couple of weeks, I've been waiting outside her building every morning when she goes out (rips a page of Lola from his magazine) and every evening when she comes home, just to catch a glimpse of her.
Arnold
But why don't you just talk to her?
Ernie
Ah, she'd never go out with me.
Arnold
How do you know?
Ernie
I just know, OK?
Arnold
But why?
Ernie
Why? I'll tell you why. Wanna know why? (looking in the mirror) Because she's a big beautiful successful fashion model and I'm a short little twerp with a big nose and day job that nobody ever noticed for nothing. That's why.
Arnold
Maybe you're not tall and maybe you're nose is a little big but you're also a nice guy with a good job. You're friendly and smart and you have a great sense of humor and I think anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend.
Ernie
You wanna go out with me?
Arnold
I'm serious. If you like her that much, why don't you just talk to her?
Ernie
No, no, I can't. I've had crushes before but it always turned out the same. The girl would look at me but instead of seeing me, she'd just see a guy who came up short.
Arnold
That doesn't mean it would turn out that way this time.
Ernie
Aw, forget about it. I don't want to go through that again. I'll just admire her from the far.

Scene 3: The Sunset Arms' Living Room

(That night, Arnold is watching TV while Ernie sleeps on a pillow.)

Ernie
Lola, Lola, Lola. I love you, Lola.

Scene 4: The Sunset Arms Hallway

(The next morning, Arnold sees Ernie making a statue of Lola in his room.)

Scene 5: The Sunset Arms Window Balcony

Ernie
(writing a poem with his feather pen) I'd long to meet you, dearest Lola. If I was Spanish, I'd say "Hola". Of you I am oh so enamored, you're to my heart forever hammered.
Arnold
(at the window) That's it, you have to talk to Lola!
Ernie
I told you, I can't.
Arnold
You say your name in her sleep, you've made a statue of her and you've written about a hundred of these little secret love poems. You can least talk to her.

Scene 6: The Park

(Arnold and Ernie see Lola eating ice cream on the bench.)

Arnold
Just go up to her and say "Hello" and strike the conversation.

(Ernie meets Lola while waking over to the bench to sit down.)

Ernie
I um, I see you've got some ice cream.
Lola
Uh-huh.

(Ernie sees Arnold doing a "Go ahead" sign.)

Ernie
Um, my name is Ernie.
Lola
Lola.
Ernie
Lola, that's a nice name.
Lola
(taking off her sunglasses) Thank you. (looking at her watch) Oh my gosh, it's 2:30 already! I gotta go. It was nice meeting you. (leaving the park)
Ernie
(holding up her book) Hey uh, Lola.
Lola
(finishing her ice cream) Mm-hmm?
Ernie
You forgot your book.
Lola
Oh gosh, thanks. (retrieving her book back) Hmm, this would've driven me nuts, ya know. I was on the last chapter of I'd never wouldn't known how the story turned out, I mean, culminated.
Ernie
Yeah, that would've been lousy.
Lola
Yeah. Well, thanks. (leaving the park)
Ernie
Hey uh, you know what? I saw you a couple of times before round the neighborhood.
Lola
You did?
Ernie
And one time, I saw you when I was coming home from work, there was this little kid trying to get a drink from the water fountain but he was too short and he couldn't reach it and you walked over and picked him up so he could get a drink.
Lola
Oh, yeah, I remember that.
Ernie
I thought it was real nice. (walking to Lola's apartment) Listen, uh, you're probably busy. I'm sure you got a whole agenda and I was just wondering maybe, uh, ya know I could buy you a cup of coffee sometime?
Lola
Are you asking me out, I mean, like a date?
Ernie
A date? No, no. Well, yeah, kind of. I know you probably go out with a lot of guys and you probably wouldn't under regular circumstances think about going out with a guy like me. But I promise you I'm a nice guy and I really think I could show you a good time, maybe a few laughs. So what do you say, huh? Ya know, why not take a shot go out with me?

(Lola thinks about it.)

Ernie
(to Arnold) She said yes! Yes, we're gonna spend the whole afternoon at the boardwalk! I'm can't believe it! Wait a second, the whole afternoon?!? What am I gonna talk about, what am I gonna wear, what if I say something stupid?
Arnold
Don't worry, you'll be fine.
Ernie
How do you know? (holding Arnold while shaking) You gotta help me, Arnold. Help me, please, please, please.
Arnold
OK, OK, I'll help you. Just stop shaking me.

Scene 7: The Barber Shop

(Ernie gets a haircut while Arnold gives a thumbs up.)

Scene 8: Harry's Big and Talle Shoppe

(Ernie wears a long brown suit and Arnold sees the clothes owner shrugging.)

Scene 9: Arnold's Room

(Arnold picks out his blue suit from his closet and measures Ernie with the pants.)

Scene 10: Vitello's Flowers

(Arnold and Ernie buy a bouquet flowers from Mrs. Vitello.)

Scene 11: The Sunset Arms' Main Entrance

Ernie
(in his new outfit) Well, what do you think? (walks in his tall elevator shoes but falls off the stairs)
Arnold
(catching the flowers) You can't even walk in them.
Ernie
Look, Arnold, let's not kid around here. The fact is I'm short and she's never gonna go for a short guy like me but if I wear these elevator shoes, she'll think I'm a big man.
Arnold
(giving to Ernie back the flowers) Being a big man doesn't have anything to do how tall you are; it's about what's in here. Trust me, just be yourself.


Scene 12: The Pier

Ernie: (about Lola) OK, she's gonna be here any minute. Just stay behind us in case I need advice.

(Arnold and Ernie take a look at Lola.)

Ernie
(giving to Arnold a pair of sunglasses) Wear these. I don't want Lola to know I got a 9-year-old kid giving me romantic advice. (meeting Lola while holding flowers) Lola? (Lola receives the flowers.)

(Ernie and Lola eat cotton candy together. They play ski-ball but the ball hits Ernie while Lola laughs at him. We see Arnold wearing sunglasses and Robert the blonde-haired boy looking through the periscope. At the photo booth, Ernie and Lola have their pictures taken. Later, Arnold is eating a corn dog.)

Ernie
(to Arnold) I only got a minute, she's in the can. We're really hitting it off, she really likes me.
Arnold
(taking off the sunglasses) That's great!
Ernie
Still a little nervous though. I mean, what if I blow it or if I run out of things to say?
Arnold
Why don't you just talk about something simple like, like the weather or what kind of food she likes?
Ernie
Food, that's good!

(Ernie and Lola are walking on the pier.)

Ernie
Uh, so Lola, I was just wondering, you know, why you were in the can. Do you like food?
Lola
Sure, I love to eat. I eat all the time.
Ernie
Now there's a coincidence, so do I!
Lola
(arriving at Poolka's Corn Dogs stand) Well, you know I'm modeled for large and lovely fashions and I have to eat every two hours (Ernie does a two sign for two corn dogs while Arnold takes a look around at the pier.) and I have to keep my weight up. Otherwise, I could lose my job.
Ernie
(holding two corn dogs) But that must put you under a lot of pressure.
Lola
Oh, yeah.

(Ernie and Lola eat two corn dogs.)

Ernie
But it must be a fun job, huh? You know, the glamorous life of fashion and what not.
Lola
(sitting down on the bench) Yeah, oh, it was very intriguing. Um, intriguing. That's one of my words. You see, Ernie, every day I find a new word in the dictionary and I try to use it in everyday life. I'm trying to improve myself.
Ernie
Yeah? Well, I think that's great. I mean, I think that's very, uh, you know, noble.
Lola
(gasps) I can't believe it you just said that! Noble, that's one of my words!
Ernie
No!
Lola
Yes, it's one of my Lacima, noble. It means grand, admirable, aristocratic, or benevolent. (laughs) Gosh, noble. I can't believe you said that.

(Arnold does a sunglasses look.)

Ernie
(putting a coin in the "Whack a Mole" machine) I can't believe you've never played Whack a Mole.
Lola
They're not real moles, are they?
Ernie
No, they're plastic. (whacking a plastic mole with a hammer)
Lola
Oh, that's good. I wouldn't want to whack a real mole. That seems kinda easy. (whacking a mole while screaming) I whacked a mole!
Ernie
Alright!
Lola
I whacked it good!

(Ernie and Lola are walking on the beach at sunset while Arnold watches them.)

Scene 13: Lola's Apartment

Ernie
(in the taxi) Well, here we are.
Lola
Here we are.
Ernie
Oh, I bought you a bag of mixed nuts. I figured that with your job, you could get hungry, you know, every two hours so uh, I didn't know you have snacks for later.
Lola
Thanks a lot, Ernie. That's sweet (getting out of the taxi) and, um, thanks for the day. I had a really good time.
Ernie
(getting out while closing the taxi door) Oh, me, too. So listen, maybe I could call you and, you know, we could go out again next week, maybe see a movie or something.
Lola
Well, you know, the thing is I don't know. I mean, maybe you it's not such a good idea.
Ernie
Oh, I don't get it. Why not? I mean, we had a pretty good time, right?
Lola
Yeah.
Ernie
I talked too much, didn't I?
Lola
No, no.
Ernie
I didn't talk enough?
Lola
No, it's not that. I mean, I had a great time with you. You're funny and you're sweet and you tell great stories and you showed me how to play "Whack a Mole". That was fun. Today was the best day I've had since I can't remember.
Ernie
So naturally, you wouldn't wanna go out with me again. Now I understand.
Lola
It's just that I'm large and lovely and you're, well, you're different.
Ernie
You mean short?
Lola
I'm sorry, it's not your fault. I'm just, you know, how it would look. I'm so big and you're not so big.
Ernie
Oh, well, I understand. I mean, you're right. How would it look?
Lola
I'm really sorry.
Ernie
It's okay. (getting in the taxi)

(The taxi drives away but stops for a moment and pulls back.)

Ernie
You know what, Lola? It's not okay. (getting out of the taxi again) When you look at me, you see a little man but I'm not a little man. I'm a big man, maybe not here but in here and I think that's what you'd count. I thought maybe you would be a kind person who could see that but I guess I was wrong. (opening the taxi door again) And one more thing, I'm taking my nuts. (taking the nuts and going back in the taxi while the taxi drives away)

Scene 14: The Sunset Arms

Arnold
How did it go?
Ernie
Uh, we decided not to see each other again.
Arnold
But I thought it was going so well.
Ernie
Yeah, me, too but what are you gonna do? (shaking hands with Arnold) Thanks for helping me out, Arnold. You're a great kid. (opening the door) You can take off the glasses now.

(Arnold takes off the sunglasses.)

Scene 15: Ernie's Room

(Ernie takes down some of the Lola pictures and posters and throws them in the trash can. He hides the Lola statue in a sheet. Later in bed, Ernie looks at the pictures of him and Lola taken at the pier. He turns off the light and goes to sleep.)

Scene 16: Arnold's Room

(Arnold sews his suit when he hears a knock on Ernie's door. He opens up his door to inspect.)

Lola
(knocking on Ernie's door) Ernie? Ernie?
Ernie
(opening up his door) Oh, it's you.
Lola
Yeah. Um, listen, I thought about what you said and I realized that instead of being large and lovely, I was being small and petty. It was just wrong for me not to go out with you again just because you're a little short. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry, Ernie, and if you could ever forgive me, maybe we could have dinner sometime or maybe you could just shake my hand. OK, I understand.
Ernie
Hold on a second. I guess I could shake your hand (shaking Lola's hand) and uh, I guess maybe we could have coffee sometime.
Lola
 What about dinner?
Ernie
Whoa, whoa, hey, don’t push me here!
Lola
Oh, OK.
Ernie
 C'mon, we just met.
Lola
Yeah, we just became... acquainted! (laughs)
Ernie
Good to see you again, Lola.
Lola
Hey, it’s nice to see you, too.

(Arnold smiles and closes his door while leaving Ernie and Lola alone.)

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