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PS 118 School/show and tell day 

Eugene
 All my life, I wanted a pet you guys, someone I could call my own, but my dog ran away, I was allergic to my cat, and my rabbit gave me nightmares. I thought I was never gonna get a pet of my own, but then.....I found Henry.  (He shows everybody his pet goldfish, Henry.)

Eugene

I had him for 6 months,  and nothing bad's happened to him. Henry's my best friend. I feed him, I talk to him, and I bought him this neat plastic castle with my allowance. Show everyone how you play hide and seek, Henry.

(Henry swims around his goldfish bowl.......)

Eugene

See that? he waved to me with his tail.

Helga

It's called swimming, Dr. Cousteau."

Everybody in the classroom begins laughing.


Mr. Simmons

 Thank you for sharing, Eugene, and may I say a goldfish is so very....you. (Eugene smiles at him in agreement.)

Mr. Simmons

And now, Arnold, we're eager to share your world, what special part of it did you bring for us today?"

All of the students ooh and ah in amazement......

Arnold walks up to Mr. Simmons' desk........

Arnold


I bought this yo-yo last week, and the guys showed me how to do cat's cradle.

Stinky

Gosh.....

Arnold

And I can shoot the moon too.

Arnold shoots up his yo-yo in mid-air a couple of times, but it lands right into Henry's goldfish bowl and kills Henry by accident.

Eugene

(gasps in shock) Henry!

Arnold

Huh?

Eugene

He's......

Helga

He's croaked, Eugene.

Arnold

I'm sorry, Eugene, I'm really sorry.

Eugene

It's a trick, i-it's a new trick, h-he learned a new trick, okay, roll over, Henry, (he chuckles nervously) you can do it, roll over, boy.

Henry's deceaed body sinks back down to the bottom of the goldfish bowl.

Eugene

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Meanwhile in the boy's lavatory...........

Arnold opens the lavatory stall and he and Eugene enter it with Henry’s deceased body in his goldfish bowl.


Arnold

You gotta do it, Eugene, it’s time.


Eugene walks around over to the toilet.


Eugene carefully dumps Henry’s deceased body right into the toilet.


Eugene

Goodbye, Henry.


Eugene tries to flush Henry’s deceased body down the toilet, but he refuses to do it.


Eugene


(teared up) Oh, I can’t do it, Arnold, (he Weeps silently) I had Henry since he was a little baby goldfish.”


Arnold

Okay, I’ll flush it for you, here.


Arnold almost flushes Henry’s deceased body down the toilet, but Eugene stops him.


Eugene

(teared up) Wait!


Arnold

You really loved him, huh?


Eugene

Yeah.


Arnold


What if we bury Henry someplace we can always go visit him? that’d be better, wouldn’t it?


Arnold and Eugene walk around outta the men’s restroom with Henry’s deceased body.

Meanwhile...................

Harold

There’s gonna be food at the house there, right? there better be a potluck after this thing.


Arnold

Shhh.......


Arnold

Okay, go ahead and put him in.


Eugene

Um, aren’t we gonna say something about Henry first?


Gerald

Like what?


Phoebe

Well, it’s customary at funerals to give a eulogy for the deceased person or creature.


Helga

Alright, since I’m obviously the most experienced public speaker of any 1 here………”


Eugene

Um, I prefer if it wasn’t you, Helga, no offense, but I’m not sure you really well appreciated Henry.”


Helga

I appreciated him just fine, you pathetic little………(Arnold elbows her hard in the right shoulder) ow!”


Eugene

Gerald should do it.


All 5 PS 118 4th grade students

Yeah, yeah, Gerald, Gerald’s our right hand man.


Gerald stands right on Henry’s tomb tire and clears his throat.



Gerald

Arnold………..


Arnold plays his silver harmonica........


Gerald

Henry wasn’t the biggest of the best lookin’ goldfish, so no 1 came to buy him for a long time, he thought he’d never find a home, then 1 day, a lonely boy came into the pet store, he was kind of a geek, really, but he needed a pet and he wanted Henry and that was the start of a beautiful friend, Henry was a simple fish, he didn’t ask for much, a few flakes of fish food, his little plastic castle, that little guy with the mask, even though that didn’t turn out so good, but these were the things he loved and swimming, oh, yes, swimming with the big thing with him, right up to the end, when he was struck down in a bizarre twist of fate by a runaway yo-yo, and so we say, Goodbye, Henry, you were a good pet fish to the end.


A light gray kitty cat jumps right into Henry’s tomb pit and takes away Henry’s deceased body now wrapped in tissue paper.


Eugene

Henry!”


Arnold, Gerald and Eugene are now at the entrance to the pet store...

Arnold

Eugene, I feel really bad about this, but I'm gonna make it up to you, I'll get you another fish, okay?"

Eugene

Oh, I can't look at another fish, it's too soon, I'll never be able to replace Henry."

Arnold

Then how 'bout this? we go to the pet store and get you a different pet.

Eugene

Oh, gee, I don't know, Arnold......

Arnold, Gerald and Eugene enter the pet store........

Pet Store Owner

Don't give me that look.

Arnold (off screen)

Excuse me........

The pet store owner turns to see Arnold, Gerald and Eugene, standing by......

Arnold

My friend here's looking for a new pet.

Pet Store Owner


And may I say, what a thrill it is for me, I live to serve.

Eugene


Uh, can I see your bird?

The parrot craps on Eugene's left hand.

Eugene


Ew.

Pet Store Owner


Welcome to my world.

The pet store owner wipes it off Eugene's left hand, while Arnold picks up 1 of the hamsters.

Arnold


Hamsters are pretty neat.

Eugene


Hey, yeah, and so friendly.

The hamster bites on Eugene's nose.

Eugene


Ow, oooh!

Pet Store Owner:

Bad chemistry, can't fight that.

The pet store owner takes the hamster off Eugene's nose.

Gerald is at the snake's tank.

Gerald


A snake would give you style, Eugene, you know, monchikasmo."

Eugene


Uh, I don't know, guys.

Pet Store Owner


It's a harmless little garter snake.

Arnold


Yeah, snakes are really cool.

Pet Store Owner


Try it on for size.

The pet store owner puts the garter snake on Eugene's shoulders.

Pet Store Owner


See? it pulls your whole look together.

The pet store owner walks right back to the counter.

Eugene


Hey, guys, I think he likes me.

Eugene


Look, guys, he's giving me a hug.

Arnold and Gerald do their usual secret handshake.

Eugene

(raspy voice) Guys? I can't breathe. (he gags regularly)

Arnold, Gerald and Eugene exit the pet store.

Arnold


So tomorrow, we'll try another pet store, what do you say?

Eugene


Oh, maybe I'm just not supposed to have a pet.

Arnold


Don't say that, Eugene.

Eugene


But maybe it's true, maybe there are kids who just can't have pets and I'm 1 of them, it's okay, Arnold, I'll get used to it, honest, I'll see you later.

Arnold


Poor Eugene.

Gerald


He'll be okay by tomorrow, that kid always bounces back.

Back at PS 118 School

Eugene is feeding his imaginary hippo, Elbert.

Arnold


This can't be good, Gerald.

Arnold and Gerald walk over to Eugene.

Gerald


Uh, whatcha doin', Eugene?

Eugene


I brought my hippo to school, isn't he neat?

Gerald


I don't see any hippo.

Eugene


Elbert's right here, you can't hide a hippo.

Gerald shakes his head in disbelief, and the school bell begins ringing.

Arnold


Time to line up, come on, Eugene.

Eugene


Oh, I'm not going, I'm staying with Elbert.

Arnold


But, Eugene, you gotta go to class.

Eugene


No, it's too soon, I know he looks big, but Elbert's still a baby.

Eugene


Elbert, go get the ball, bring it here, boy.

Eugene


Yeah, good hippo!

Gerald gives Arnold the urge to come on and hurry up, and Arnold follows him

Suddenly, it begins raining outside.

Gerald


Man, he's slipped, I guess Eugene was just hangin' on by a thread, and losin' that little fish was the last straw.

Arnold 

 I feel terrible about this, Gerald, why'd it have to be Eugene's fish?

Meanwhile with Eugene putting up missing imaginary hippo posters........

Arnold 

What happened now?

Eugene

Oh, Elbert ran away, he chewed through his leash.

Gerald

Man, losin' a pretend pet? now that's pathetic.

Arnold

(walking right up to Eugene) Eugene, maybe you should talk to your mom about Elbert, she should know about this.

Eugene

No, she's not a hippo person, Arnold,anyway, I got a lot more flyers to put up.

Eugene walks away from Arnold and Gerald to put up more missing imaginary hippo posters.

Arnold

I gotta find a way to pull him outta this slump.

The Sunset Arms Boarding House

Grandma Gertrude is in a mermaid costume and serving fresh fish at the dinner table.

Grandpa Phil

Hey, eat up, Arnold, your grandma don't get a wild hair to cook fresh fish very often.

Arnold

I can't eat this, Grandpa, it reminds me of a fish I used to know.

Grandpa Phil

Uh oh, sounds like young Arnold has another 1 of his complex labyrinthian conundrums of a boyhood problem, what is it, short man?

Arnold

Well, it's Eugene's pet fish, I accidentally killed it, now he doesn't have a pet anymore.

Grandpa Phil

That's a shame.

Arnold

I don't get it, Grandpa, why does everything bad happen to Eugene?

Grandpa Phil

Well, some kids are just plain unlucky, bad things always happen to them, I guess all you can do is be a friend to him in his time of need, but most importantly, never go to Vegas with that kid or fly in an airplane with him.

Arnold

It's just not fair, Grandpa,I can't stand seeing Eugene so alone.

Grandpa Phil

We're all alone, that's life, you don't need to be with anybody, take it from me, as long as you got your dreams and fantasies, you'll be able to get up and go on, everybody needs a dream to hang onto, otherwise, they're just people without dreams, (Oscar points his fork right at Grandpa Phil's dinner plate) and if you don't wanna wear that fork, you better get away from my plate, you weasel.

Meanwhile in Arnold's bedroom, Arnold is imagining taking Eugene to meet an angelfish.

Arnold

Yeah. 

Hillwood Aquarium

Eugene

Gee, thanks for bringing me to the aquarium, Arnold, but I don't get it, why are we here?

Arnold

Eugene, see that angel fish? I talked to people at the aquarium and from now on, that angelfish is gonna be your pet.

Eugene

Wow! 

Arnold

See, it's official, you can come down and visit him anytime.

Eugene

Arnold, this is so great, you're the neatest friend anybody ever had, look, he waved at me, I'm gonna call him Angel, (he looks right at the aquarium tank.) hello, Angel, (he turns back over to Arnold and Gerald.) it's perfect, he's in this huge tank surrounded by security guards, nothing can hurt him, and nothing can even get near him, he's totally safe in there, and I can come see him anytime I want, oh, I'll tell him my secrets, (a shark comes by and Angel hides in the back row.) we'll take pictures of him for my wall, we'll grow up together.

Arnold

Don't say a word, Gerald.

Eugene

Hi, Angel.

(Brief Pause)

Eugene

Hey, where'd he go?

Arnold

Uh, Angel's hiding, Eugene, he's uh, in the back.

Angel appears with the other angelfish and is alright after all.

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