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False Alarm/Quotes

< False Alarm

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Gerald

Helga, baby, put your feet up. I’ll tell it.

Curly

Because three months, two weeks, and four days ago, Eugene borrowed my favorite pencil - the pencil I got last summer at Wankyland - and then, when he finally returned it, it had chew marks all over it! And he sharpened it down to the metal parts! I couldn't sleep! I couldn't eat! All I could think about was Eugene writing with my pencil, Eugene chewing on my eraser and Eugene sharpening, sharpening, SHARPENING!!! And then, when he finally gives it back to me, he says, 'Oh, here Curly.' Like it was NO BIG DEAL!
I couldn't take this lying down. See, I got a plan — the fire alarm. All I had to do was plant the right clues: the peanut butter, the glasses, and, to top it all off, the pencil. Bingo, he would be branded for life! Ahhhh Ahhhhh Ahhhahhh!

Curly (Dementedly)

I did It! I pulled the fire alarm! And I'd do it again, too! See? (Laughs dementedly as we hear the fire bell ringing and Curly pulling the levers down)

Principal Wartz

Stop that!

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