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The Sunset Arms' Dining Room[]
Gertie
- (singing wearing a cowboy hat and serving pancakes) ♪Oh, bury me not on the lone prairie♪
Phil
- (walks in with annoyance) Pookie, must you sing at this hour?
Gertie
- (stern) That's Calamity Pookie to you, slim. Grab a plate and get in line!
Phil
- (muttering to himself) Lucky she's good looking... (does so and sits down)
Arnold
- (to his grandfather) Good morning, Grandpa.
Phil
- What's so good about it?
Ernie
- (hands him the newspaper he was reading seconds ago) Here you go, gramps.
Phil
- (takes it) Oh, you got it folded open. I hate that. And stop calling me "gramps". I'm not your gramps, you tiny, little shrimp.
Ernie
- (offended) Touchy, touchy!
Gertie
- Eat up, slim. We got fifteen miles of cow trail before we stop for water.
Phil
- (not feeling like it) I-I got no appetite, Pookie.
Oskar
- (takes the pancakes from him) I'll take them. Grandpa.
Phil
- (takes them back) Get your paws off my plate! I said, "I got no appetite", not "help yourself to my flapjacks", you weasel!
Oskar
- (to Mr. Hyunh) Boy, the old man sure is cranky today.
Mr. Hyunh
- (frustrated) The old man can be cranky if he want to! Mind your own business!
Ernie
- Who asked you, Hyunh?! Look, if the old man---
Phil
- (having heard enough) Ah, quiet, all of you! And stop calling me "old man"! I'm not your old man! (gets up) If anybody needs me, I'll be in my office looking through my old photo albums, remembering times long past, and getting depressed.
(For a short silence, Oskar sneakily takes the pancakes back but Phil warningly comes back)
Phil
- Don't touch them pancakes! (Oskar puts them back and crosses his arms with a disapproval face)
Arnold
- (after awhile) What's wrong with Grandpa?
Gertie
- It's almost his birthday, Arnold.
Arnold
- I don't remember him acting like this on his birthday last year.
Gertie
- Yes, but this is a big year for Phil. He'll be 81, you know.
Bathroom[]
(Phil is looking through his family album depressed when Arnold knocks on his door)
Arnold
- Grandpa?
Phil
- The door's open.
Arnold
- (he steps inside) Grandpa, what's the big deal about turning 81?
Phil
- It's the family curse, Arnold.
Arnold
- (confused) Family curse?