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Mr. Green

Harold Berman! I can't believe my eyes! You stole my beautiful ham! And now it's ruined!

Harold

Aw, I was hungry! I was really, really hungry!

Mr. Green

That doesn't give you the right to steal from people! (Pointing his finger in Harold's face) YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?!

Harold

NOOOOO!!!! MOMMY!!!!!!!!

Mr. Green

I'm gonna have to call his mommy.

Rabbi Goldberg

Harold, I'm disturbed about two things. First of all, you stole. Stealing is against the law; Thou Shalt Not Steal.

Harold

But I was hungry, Rabbi Goldberg!

Rabbi Goldberg

And secondly and most important, you stole a ham. Ham is not Kosher. Not Kosher at all. We don't eat ham. We haven't for 5,000 years and we don't need to start now. (Crosses his arms)

Harold

I know! And I'm sorryyyyy!

Rabbi Goldberg

Yes. I know you're sorry because you did something that got you into trouble. But I don't think you understand why. When I was a young man about your age, I had a friend who admired a vest hanging in a tailor shop. It was a beautiful vest: Red velvet with gold buttons. He coveted that vest, Harold, but didn't have the money to buy it! You know what happened? My friend stole the vest! And he was punished! He had to work at the tailor shop, learning how to cut and sew and stitch so he would see just how much work it takes to *make* a vest. He learned a good lesson. (Crossing his legs and wondering) You can, too, Harold. I have an idea.

Harold

Do you like being a butcher?

Mr. Green

Huh? Yeah. I've been doin' it for a long time.

Harold

What's your favorite kind of meat?

Mr. Green

Don't you have sweeping to do?

Harold

What's the difference between a rump roast and a buttstick?

Mr. Green

Hey, I've got work to do! Go sweep outside! Just 2 more days and he's outta my hair!

Mr. Green

He's still out there, huh?

Arnold

Uh-huh.

Mr. Green

(Sighs)

Miriam

Um, Mr. Blue?

Mr. Green

It's Green!

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