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Haunted Train

Credits

Written by: Josie Nericcio

Music by: Jim Lang

Directed by: Tuck Tucker and Juli Murphy-Hashiguchi

Cast as Credited

Arnold Toran Caudell
Helga Francesca Marie Smith
Gerald, Singing Gerald (uncredited) Jamil W. Smith
Phil/Engineer Dan Castellaneta
Sid Sam Gifaldi
Brainy/Steel Mill Worker (uncredited) Craig Bartlett
Ghost of the Mad Engineer Jim Lang (uncredited)

Transcript

(The episode begins by showing a glimpse of an ominous looking train blowing of some steam. The camera than fades out and shows the Jolly Olly man's ice cream truck driving away. Behind the ice cream truck stands Phil. He is holding three ice cream cones. Phil walks over to the steps of the boarding house where Arnold and Gerald are sitting. He gives them ice cream.)

Phil

You boys finished playing checkers?

(Phil sits down on the steps with the boys.)

Gerald

Yep. Crazy Eights, Slap Jack, Go Fish, Old Maid and every board game in the house and a crossword puzzle too.

Arnold

We're bored, Grandpa.

Phil

Bored?

(The sound of a train horn is heard and Phil looks down the street. An elevated train passed by overhead. Phil get's an idea.)

Have I ever told you boys about the time I worked for the railroad.

(Arnold and Gerald roll their eyes at eachother expecting a boring story.)

AND FIRST HEARD THE LEGEND OF THE HAUNTED TRAIN!

(The boys turn around in awe and move closer to Phil. Phil begins telling the story.)

Forty years ago, old Engine 25 was heading for the station. The engineer went mad and drove his train off the tracks. They never saw him or the train again, Some say he drove it straight to.

(Phil points down)

...You know

Arnold

Midtown?

Gerald

Downtown?

Phil

All the way downtown, to the very most southern point!

Arnold

You mean?...

Phil

That's right.

Gerald

Wow, he drove all the way to the south pole!

Phil

No! He drove the train straight down, to the fiery underworld!

(The Hey Arnold Gang all wow at Phil's story, there are more kids joining Arnold and Gerald on the step to hear the story.)

Every year on the anniversary of its last ride, Engine 25 comes back, the Mad Engineer at the throttle. He's on his way to the old train station to pick up unknowing passengers. These unsuspecting passengers are drawn onto the train by a blinding white light. It hypnotizes them, and a strong smell overpowers them. Some say it smells like rotten eggs, but I'll tell you what it is. It's the smell of!..

(Sid cuts Phil off)

Sid

Socks?

Phil

No, fire and brimstone.

Then they start to hear a horrible ear splitting music! It shrieks and moans and sends a chill through your heart! It's not of this world. It's inhuman. After the music, the train then enters, The ZONE OF DARKNESS!!

(The Hey Arnold Gang gasp)

In the zone of darkness, they can feel the heat from the flames, then the train comes to a complete stop. The doors open, and they are greeted by the red hot demon himself!

(Phil gets up and begins entering the house, but then turns around.)

You know what tonight is, don't ya? It's the 40th anniversary! I'd sure hate to be at the old train station tonight. Oooh! The one on 53rd past Livingston. You know, next to the tire shop there.

(Phil walks into the boarding house. The kids start talking excitingly. Phil looks at them out the window amd snickers.)

Well, so much for being bored.

(Phill walks away from the window.)



(It is later that day. Arnold and Gerald are still sitting on the steps of the boarding house. Helga is jumping rope next to the steps.)

Arnold

You think the stories are true, Gerald? I mean, my grandpa has been known to stretch the truth.

(Helga puts down her jump rope and walks over to the step.)

Helga

I don't believe a word of it! I want physical evidence, infared photography, ectoplasmic samples, physical energy fields! Hah!

Arnold

Some things can't be proved with scientific evidence. It's a question of faith.

(Helga rushes into Arnold's Face.)

Helga

Hooey!

Arnold

Well, I can understand if you're....scared.

Helga

Scared?, I'm not scared!

Arnold

Okay, then meet us tonight at the old train station.

(Gerald looks astonished.)

Gerald

Huh!

Arnold

One hour after the street lights go off.

Helga

You're on!

(Arnold and Helga stare at each other competitively and the camera fades out)



(It is later that night, Arnold, Helga and Gerald approach the old train station. they run across the tracks and into the station building. there is a small passage between large planks of wood covered with a cobweb. Helga is the first to go through, but gets the cobweb as well as various spiders in her hair. The rest of the gang walks through to the old boarding platform. A squeaking sound is heard in the tunnel. Gerald picks up a rock and throws it into the tunnel and a swarm of bats flies out and into the night. The group scatters for cover. Arnold picks up a wooden board and swings it to keep the bats away.)

Helga

Yup. No train. Let's go!

Arnold

Not so fast. We have to wait longer than thirty seconds.



(It is midnight. The clock strikes twelve and Arnold, who is sitting on a crate, begins playing his harmonica in a 12 bar blues style pattern. Gerald begins snapping his fingers and singing the haunted train blues.)

Gerald (singing)

They say he lost his mind

Went crazy on that day

Ran his train right off the tracks

And drove it straight to...HEY!

Where's the engineer?

Been waiting all nite long.

Better show up soon.

Or Im'a have to say so long.

WHOO WHOOOOOOO! Been waitin on the Haunted Train.

(Helga begins growling, then yells)

Helga

THAT'S IT! I'm out of here! This is ridiculous! There is no haunted train, there is no mad engineer! And you two chuckle heads are driving me nuts!

(After Helga's last line, I train horn is heard in the distance)

And stop playing that harmonica!

Arnold

I'm not playing the harmonica.

(The train horn sounds again, the birds in the station scatter. The station and tracks begin to vibrate as Helga, Arnold and Gerald look suprised. Arnold peers down the tunnel and sees a black steam locomotive barreling towards the station. The engine has a 25 on the front of the boiler. The train thunders into the station past the group and stops at the platform. The group stares in awe at the locamotive's intimidating features, notably it's red glow from the cab and the the steam shooting from the wheels)

The Group Simultaneously

Engine 25!

(The door to the train opens and the group is treated to blinding white light, just like Grandpa's story told of. The group appears to be drawn onto the train. They enter the car as creepy music from a theremin plays.)

Arnold

The white light, it pulled us on!

Helga

We're the victims of forces we can't possibly comprehend.

(The group runs to try to escape the car, but the door closes before they can get there. The train pulls away with the kids on board. Just then Helga notices an odor.)

Ewww, what's that smell.

Gerald

Pssh who smelt it dealt it.

Helga

It's not that smell, stupid.

Arnold

Helga's right, it's more like..

(Helga takes another whiff)

Helga

Rotten eggs! It smells like rotten eggs! It's one of the signs.

(The train shakes and ear splitting music begins to play)

Gerald

Do you hear what I hear?

Arnold

You mean that horrible ear-splitting and possibly inhumane music?

(Helga bites on her fingers nervously and then let's out a loud scream)

Helga

(Running up and down the car)

We're all gonna die! We're all gonna die!

(Helga Runs to the front of the car and tries to open the door)

I do believe in mad engineers! I do believe in haunted trains! I do I do! Why must I be cursed with such an inquisitive nature!

(The lights begin to flicker and eventually go out entirley, plunging the group into darkness)

Gerald

Hey..The lights!

Arnold

The zone of darkness. The next stop is....you know.

Gerald

Uh, are you pointing down?

(Red pulsing flashes of light begin flashing through the windows, enough to illuminate the car. The lights flash and show Helga, there is a tall shadow figure standing behind her.)

Helga

This is it! (The shadow creeps a step closer to her. The lights go out) I can feel the flames of the dark underworld blowing down the back of my neck!

(The lights flash again and the shadow creeps even closer to her until it is directly behind her. A wheezing sound is then heard. Helga turns around and the lights flash one last time. A creepy face is illuminated by the lights. Helga screams and the lights come back on, revealing the shadow figure to be none other than Brainy)

Arnold

Brainy? What are you doing here?

Brainy

Uh.....I don't know.

(The group stands confused. Helga walks over to Brainy and grabs him by the back of his shirt. Gerald opens the side door and Helga throws Brainy out the door into a muddy ditch. Helga closes the car door and after a few moments, fire appears outside the windows)

Gerald

I see it, I see the fire!

(The group looks out the window and observes several shadows walking through the fire while creepy music plays in the background. They are horrified.)

Arnold

Wait, I got an idea!

(Arnold walks over to the fire hose and brings it to the door.

Helga

Ready...Aim...

(Gerald opens the door and the Firery Demon appears.)

FIRE!

(Arnold sprays the hose. The demon, revealed to be a man wearing a hard hat wrythes and yells, suprised by the water hitting him.The man falls to the ground and Arnold stops the water.)

Steel Mill Worker

Hey, what did you do that for?

(The door in the front of the car opens and an engineer walks through)

Engineer

What are you kids doing here? Nobody's allowed on this train except for steel mill workers.

Arnold

Steel mill? We're at the steel mill?

Engineer

Sure, where'd ya think you were?

Gerald

This train isn't haunted?

Engineer

Haunted! Oh no, not that story again. This train is for relief workers.

Helga

What about the smell?

Engineer

Girlie, have you ever smelled a steel mill? It's the sulfur!

(The engineer leans into the group)

Smells like rotten eggs doesn't it?

Arnold

And the lights?

Engineer

Lights? The lights in this car are always going on and off. (The engineer hits a light to demonstrate and it flickers)

Gerald

And the music, I've never heard anything so horrible.

Arnold

It was like torture.

Helga

I thought my eardrums were going to explode.

Engineer

Oh well, I guess some people don't appreciate the polka. (He pulls out and accodian, demonstrating that he was the one making the noise)

Okay, does that explain everything?

The Children

Yes.

Engineer

Good, now let's get you kids on the right train home. Geez.

(It is later, Arnold, Gerald and Helga are being driven home by Grandpa.)

Phil

A fire extinguisher against the fires of the underworld, eh? Pretty good plan, Shortman.

Arnold

I think you set us up Grandpa.

Phil

Well, at least you weren't bored, were ya!

Arnold

There is no haunted train.

Phil

(With a sly grin on his face)

Now, I didn't say that......

(Grandpa's packard zooms off into the distance, the camera pans over to reveal Brainy sitting on the rails next to the train tracks. At that moment, the real haunted train zooms by Brainy, making him the only kid to witness the true occurence of the phenonmenom. Music begins to play, and the front of the locomotive is shown. The engineer appears playing his accordian and begins singing a song about the haunted train. The episode ends.)

End

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