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Miriam (when she hears about Olga getting married)
- No, Olga! Don't make the same mistake I made!
- Oh man, this guy's a total liar! If Olga marries him, her life will be ruined... Perfect!
So what's the stinkin' rush all about? get married in a year, if you still want to.
- You won't want to.
- Mommy, Daddy, please don't be harsh...
- It's okay, darling, you're parents just need time to adjust.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, you little twist top, Big Bob Pataki doesn't adjust, you got it?
- Daddy, it's not fair to have Olga choose between her true love... and us.
- Helga's right, Daddy, you're being an awful brute, and Mommy, you're not even trying to like Doug... I am so... miserable.
- (Olga runs off crying and weeping to her bedroom)
- If I play my cards right I can get rid of Olga for good.
Doug (his last lines)
- I did like her, you know—even if I didn't actually love her. Hey, what's love anyway?