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Stinky

I done went and sat on my hot sauce and now I gots hot pants!

Harold (Pretending to be a hobo, he gets asked if he's seen Harold, Stinky, and Sid)

No sir, and we don't know nothing about some police station!

Harold

We can't go to the authorities, WE JUST BLEW UP THE AUTHORITIES!!!!



Arnold

This is crazy. Listen to yourselves. You're 9 years old. And your gonna disguise yourselves, run away and become hobos?!

Harold

THAT'S RIGHT, ARNOLD! AND YOU'RE NOT GONNA STOP US! (scene goes black and another scene is shown Arnold tied up and mouth taped while Sid, Stinky and Harold are in incognito) Sorry Arnold. We just can't take the chance that you'll turn us in. Now let's catch a bus to the train yard. Ooooh, I can't wait to be a hobo!

Grandpa Phil

Hi, shortman. Done playing "secret agent"?

Arnold

(frees himself, and untapes his mouth and removes the dirty sock from his mouth) I wasn't playing "secret agent". I was bound and gagged for 2 hours.

Grandpa Phil

Oh, that's different. How'd that happen?

Arnold:

Harold, Stinky and Sid tied me up because they thought I was gonna turn them for blowing up the police station.

Ernie

Blowin' up the police station? What are you talkin' about? They didn't blow it up, I did! It's been slated for demolition for months!

Arnold:

Well, they think they did it. And they're so scared, they're going to the train yard to hop a box car and become hobos! We gotta stop 'em!

Grandpa Phil

Oh, my gosh, you're absolutely right! We'll go save 'em! Just as soon as the Battlin' Bishop defeats the Lady Beastmaster!

Arnold

Grandpa...

Grandpa Phil

Oh, alright! I'll just look at the highlights on the news then!

Harold

I GIVE UP! I GIVE UP! I never meant to hurt anyone, ok?!

Stinky

He's right! We were just tryin' to have a little fun!

Sid

(sobbing) It was an innocent childish prank gone awry!

Harold

We never meant to blow up the police station!

Stinky

But we did!

Sid

WE BLEW UP THE POLICE STATION!!!!! Waaaaaah!!!!!

Arnold

You didn't blow up the police station!

Harold

Huh?

Ernie

I did, you nimrods! I dynamited it with my crew!

Harold

You mean you did it and we didn't? And we don't have to be an insane gang?

(The police officers and news crew laugh)

Mrs. Berman

(runs through the crowd and hugs Harold tightly) Oh, Harold! I was so worried, my little pudding! My poor deluded baby!

Harold

Too tight! Too tight, Mom! So, does this mean we're not in trouble?

(The police officers and news crew laugh even harder)


Harold

Uh, Arnold, thanks for saving us. I'm sorry we tied you up and put that old dirty sock in your mouth.

Arnold:

It's okay, Harold. And I'm sorry for turning you in to Mr. Simmons, too.

Harold

WHAT?! You rat! You turned us in for breaking into the science closet and stealing all the rockets and--

Arnold:

Just kidding, Harold.

Mr. Simmons:

Actually, Harold, I saw the whole thing on television. And frankly, I can't believe that you violated the sanctity of our science closet. We'll talk about an appropriate but reasonable punishment in the morning.

Harold, Stinky and Sid:

Aww!

Harold:

I'm tired and hungry and I just wanna eat!



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