Gerald (on the comet)
- 70 years? Where is it the rest of the time?
- Eat cereal, get a telescope. What a country.
- I'm sick of cereal. I'm sick of milk. I'm sick of all these football-headed schemes.
Arnold (Arnold on why not just dump the cereal)
- There are children who are starving.
- I'm starving right here.
Gerald (yelling to the populace)
- Turn off ya lights!
- Dad, if only those lights weren't burning so bright.
- I can take care of that. (He pours water on gaslight so Phil can see the comet)
Phil (about Hawk Mountain)
- I fell off the mountain and broke every bone in my body.
Gerald (on traffic to Hawk Mountain)
- Man, this is insane!
- Too bad you can't do that on the air, now excuse me, I have to go back on live... (Ned has a "whoops, looks like they did" look on his face as he sees the "on the air" indicator is already on)
- Oh my — look up, boys, look up! 23 skidoo! Heh heh! Boys, you're gonna remember this for the rest of your lives!
Grandpa (on the next time Sally's comet comes along, Arnold and Gerald will be watching)
- I won't be, because I'll be... you know"
Grandpa (to Gerald, last line of the ep)
- Would you stop callin' me Phil?!