(Making arts & crafts out of pine cone) This really helps to pass the time. Oh yeah, the hours just go flying by when you reduce the scope of your entire world to all the stuff you can make out of a crummy pine cone!
(Rummaging through his fridge) Fine, fine, whatever. Is this gonna cost me anything?
No of course not.
I knew it! I'm a literary giant! I can be anything I want to be! Thank heavens I didn't throw away my poems and diaries, they'll be collector's items some day... "Portrait of the Artist as a Girl Genius"! (walks into living room)